Dala - Fortress

So I was bored at my cuzn's place and he had this new tv series downloaded - Flashpoint. Some random canadian police drama. 

ANYHU, here's the ending track, which is awesome; yes.

And I will watch you disappear
From my fortress over here
And I will never understand
Every heart's a foreign land

And I'm so afraid to, so afraid to
Love you

And I will turn my eyes away
From the harsh light of your day
And I have slept through pouring rain
It was all that kept me sane

And I'm so afraid to, so afraid to
Love you

And I have drawn lines in the sand
To remind us where we stand
And I build castles while you thirst
They'll fall down but you'll fall first

And I'm so afraid to, so afraid to
Love you
Love you
Love you

flip

She said it with such unnerving calm; the news hit like a bat to the face. For a moment there, I froze.

With the book of the Lord in one hand and a rolled up tissue in the other; she tried to concentrate, in order to read, to distract her from her grief. Seeking that one true spirit that has given us Hope on a plate, everytime and anytime. 

But as she lost to the eminence grise inside her over and over again; eyes swollen and cheeks wet, I had the urge to hold her hand and press hard. squeezing for strength.

I didnt; it wasnt my place to.

Instead I sat there doing nothing, wondering in awe, how life works like a switch. Flip it and its off.

Inallaha Ma3 Sabireen - (Allah is with those who have patience).

Qoute of the day -  once you build your own rules and own walls, you start to realise that within those lines you cannot use your heart. since the walls you built were made of logic, and in the land of logic you need to feel from you head. 

you need to love yourself,

coz if you dont

you wont be able to live with yourself,

and if you cant live with yourself 

noone else ever will.

close your eyes 

and be prepared,

take a deep and longing breath.

grasp on air 

inside your fists,

squeeze till nails begin to drill.

grit your teeth 

and hear the sound,

that resonates inside your head.

Feel the emotions

swell inside your heart,

Hold your impulsions, 

thats not the way to start.

Consience will tear you apart. 

...and I will walk

a thousand miles,

just to feel alive...

this past week ..

.. has been completely like shit. 

Even though I love to ramble and trash talk alot, I dont want to say anything. I've repeated it so many times to so many people, even I am getting bored of myself. 

But the thing that makes it shittier is the fact that i feel like its shit. Its the fact that I felt so low. I felt so tired. so over worked. so disconnected and introvert. like i was curling up inside myself, slowly, tightly, weeping quietly. 

I was pissed off that I felt that way, and well, it didnt make matters any better :P But seriously, WTF? 

I was thinking ..

'dood what the hell? HOW CAN I BE SO DOWN and DEAD and TIRED and ANTSY and POOP like... I never feel low on energy ... hell .... I AM ENERGY!!! .. You want energy, I'll shock you and shake you up! .. This was so unreal this bitch.

anyhu, the waters have calmed (and also I've seen the latest 007, which was an action galore of kick ass butt kicking). And I'm feeling like me again. 

And at this point I realise I've never thanked a friend, not on this blog. Even though he means so much to me. He's always been there, been the first to know, been the first to show up, been the first to ask, and been the first to reach out and lift me. All I've ever given him is a hug. 

Qoute of the day: am so cheap. ;)