Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Time is a bullet.


I clickity clicked through some of the oldest pages of this blog. Probably not all of them, but some very old ones indeed. 2005 I think. 'I saw it again' - read the title. 

I am not scared, but its definitely harder to admit now; much has changed. I seemed to have locked that other person inside me, my personal friend; with whom I shared some of the weirdest wildest thoughts and experiences. And yet some so simple, but so extravagant that it made me shiver; now that I went through those posts. 

Much has changed indeed, but the silly bit is that the realisation never dawned until right now. 

My friend has changed. Or has he? I know their is a competitor alive inside me now, a rival, a critic. Who's pushing me to do it all, to grab it all, to swallow every opportunity whole, to never look back, to never regret, to learn everything, to think everything and to be a hero; in my own right.

Heh, is that even possible?

All this she-bang about maturity. Is this that? To be brave and bold and strong. To endure, to boast and to be the better man. To understand and adhere on the cost of forgeting what I'd learnt, what I'd felt. 

Have I lost my own friend; have I changed him? I still believe I have a fantasy within me, but I've yet to experience the same spirit. The spirit of simplicity.  

Time is surely a bullet, in both physical and spiritual substances. Its fast. So fast that you'll never know. And in the end, it'll surely take you down; by surprise or not, that is dependant. 

Nevertheless, I am glad I've kept this blog. And I hope it survives the financial crisis the world faces today! Flicking through it makes me smile, for the things I used to say and the things I used to believe in. May be I still do. That's mine for the keeps. 

I've been better. 


Cynical Hippie said...

[quote]to swallow every opportunity whole[/quote]

DATS what she said

Talha said...

i dint knw what blog u were referring too..and then i read it..and i rmr i had left a comment on it..and i checked tht comment out..and lol tht was the first time i saw u rite something like tht..and i have to admit even though im fully aware of ur riting style now (i think) ur blogs never cease to amaze me man..

as for ur current blog..i knw the friend ur talking abt..we all had one..and i guess we all have locked one away..cause its just like u said..things are more competitive..and at times like these u need to give ego a whole lot of room..and tht can only be done by locking the friend away..great post man!!

siras said...

"Much has changed indeed, but the silly bit is that the realisation never dawned until right now."

So true!!! So much changes but you dont realise it till you go back into the past and then you're really jolted!

L u D a said...

@ habib, thanks for the comic relief. :P

@ talha, but isnt that such a bitch! EGO, COMPETITION, RACE .. and eventually you know you've gotta hang your coat up and say good bye.

@ siras, totally.

Talha said...

LOL yea it is a bitch..but to be entirely honest..i think eventually all of us begin to thrive on it..hate to admit it but the downfall of competitors does the ego a whole lot of get this rush thats kinda addictive :P

but ofcourse id love to go back to my old self..