Monday, May 30, 2005

the post that should've been here before


So without further adue...

It's EXAM time again, but of higher significance than the normal ones which i didnt give a damn about. Boards, A Levels CAMBRIDGE GCE, FINAL, GRADUATION .. or whatever you might want to call it. Its all the same, coz your getting the same papers and the same marks :P

Hmm, the only good thing about it is that you get fresh papers and clean printed question sheets so u dont have to search for lines like on a photocopied one for the school exams. Oh yeah and also, we get ORANGE colored sheets for MCQ's YAY!

That orange cheerful color of my favourite fruit is a disguise on my least favourite paper. I had been practising ALOT of chemistry specially MCQ's and I didnt want anything to screw up the MCQ's except for them to screw up themselves; which is exactly what happened. Pathetic - to keep it short.

Allthough many would argue, but sorry am not the EN EE AR DEE, i used to be. I actually miss THAT me. The chubby excessively fleshy kid with fat superman glasses, cute and dumb on the face, a bully arcade, but a walking living text book of the GCSE CURRICULM ... :P .
Hmmmm.... No.

Well back to chemistry exam...
MCQ's were not good as they were, or actually, I didnt mind but it couldve been a lot better. A friend of mine was not feeling well, and then these MCQ's - he vomitted his disgust out in the kingdergarten toilet sink. I just washed my face.

Then came the real deal, the anxiously awaited A levels A2 extended Paper 4. I was praying when everyone had started. I had a feeling I needed to, even though 2 teachers had pointed me out to start. The first page - my jaw dropped, the second - my tongue rolled out, the third - I could see hell burning my feet.

Not even half way through the paper, I could sense the after exam buzz, and how i would love to stay away from it. I could here people talking, faces smiling like beacons and i could see myself walk to the water tank, drink, and fill my seat in the bus. The exam wasnt good.

Fortunately, i wasnt the only wounded. Infact, there were very few who never had any scratches and I have a feeling they do, but they just cant notice - for now.

I've never worked my ass out on any other exam like this. I cant imagine not sleeping before an exam, but I didnt this time, I was too scared / tensed or maybe just needed to study more. I entered the hall driven on 2 RED BULL's, a cup of coffee, and some ZAM ZAM (ty MUDDU) and i wasnt at all tired. Infact i felt fresh, prolly on overdrive.

My standards have been set on expectations. A is excellent, B is average and anything below that is failure. But more than that, I need to get an A for proving myself. Proving that I am not what I usually am in the normal exams. Proving that I can defy odds when i want to. And shutting up cans of laughter and talks of critique. Proving myself and earning my pride.

Yes, thats more of a reason.

May Allah Help me and All of us - AAmeen.

Quote of the day :- It'd be better if we were animals, we wont be questionned.

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