Friday, April 25, 2014

Moons ago ...

.. I used to frequent this place. Today I just happened to be by. And I'm glad I did.

Just reading this blog backwards, surprises me about things that have happened in my life and how I have narrated about my thoughts, sometimes skillfully, other times just because.

For the past few years, my only writing has been status updates on facebook and really heavy shit for office - the formal report writing and emails..... HOLY SHIT EMAILS! There are days when I'm writing over 100 / day. Even for things like - Okay! Many thanks! Noted! and all that one word messages. But its the status quo, the decorum, the way human decency works.

Anyhu, I see that my most recent post before this is from my extremely anxious time, right before I was getting married.

Guess what?!! Now I'm a father!!!

Indeed I'm getting older, but more in experience than in age I feel.

Nevertheless, this is one of the most amazing experiences in life, ever! All before this, your life, your likes, dislikes, love and what not, are mostly based on past experiences, logic and some hormonal disbalance (in your brain or heart). I'd like to target lover here in particular. I feel like you can claim to and indeed love your parents, your friends, your one and only as much as all the mountains in the world, but as soon as you have that kid; whenhe/she opens their eyes to guesstimate your silhouette, blinks, cries, responds to external stimuli, in your hands, in your boat shaped embrace; there's this automatic spark, which lights up the strangest hormonal imbalance that I've ever experienced. So rich, so world changing, so affirmative.

In short, you haven't loved, until you've had a child. Then and only then, do you realize the power of love. I used to think, what is all this hoo haa about, 'OMG my child, My son! My Daughter! is in pain, is hurt, is dead etc'; but I can clearly see it now, I may probably become an over protective dad.

Khair, I guess this is it for now. I will update more about my realisations of being a father.

Btw, my wife's doing fine, and an incredible job with the kid. She's a genius, mashALLAH!

Quote of the day: You know whats the irony about people who hate children? Their opinions are going to die with them!!

Friday, June 15, 2012

star

Mumma,

Your star is going to burst into flame
without a shine
and fizzle into a sprite
without heat

And all that would be left
is an ugly spec of ash
that is as insignificant as the wind that carries it way

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Big Fat Fucking Failure
sometimes i wish, i go to sleep and never wake up.

whats happening to me?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

In the corner, lies a foreigner

You see that corner, there

right there ....

you dont? well thats great.

coz thats where I want to go,

hide from this world.















but I'm so fat, you see
they'll always find me.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

it seems

When someone goes on life support its only a matter of time. Or a matter of prayers. whichever finishes first.

"He didnt make it,
He left me alone,
He's gone."

as I read the last line, my heart sank into my stomach. My best friend lost his father and left me a message to wonder how he would have felt.

But I couldnt, no body can.

No body can but him.

"May Allah grant your father the place in heaven he deserves and may we all take heed from the wonderful lessons of life."

Thursday, June 30, 2011



I WANNA FUCKING BLOW THIS BUILDING AND SHOOT EVERY MOTHER FUCKER THAT TREATS ME AS HIS FUCKING SLAVE!!! FUCK THEM AND FUCK COURTESY!!












Tuesday, May 24, 2011



X - "You should stop smoking, it will kill you"
Y - "Thats the idea!"

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

action faker

"Somewhere along the line people have been fooled into believing that life is supposed to be easy. I often work 12+ hours a day, and there are weeks when I work 7 days. I perform my own workout at the crack of dawn. Do I enjoy waking up at 4 AM? Not really, but I get it done. I have a wife and a son, with another on the way next month. I also have dogs, house work, work in the yard, etc. I'm beyond busy. Oh well, thats life. I wont cry about it and feel bad for myself. I wont rush to the local fast food restaurant. I cook much of my food ahead of time. I make time. I find a way. Most people arent trying to make time. They arent making an effort.

We need to stop making excuses for others. People need to stop feeling bad for themselves. Life is tough. Thats a fact. There are good times and bad times. There are action takes and action fakers. There are ultra busy professionals who make time for fitness, while others dont. We all have options, and we all make our own decisions. If someone has made poor decisions, I wouldnt sugarcoat it and console them with more excuses."

- Ross Enamiat

I need to become an action taker. inshALLAH. Please O Allah, give me the will, the determination and the strength to see me through these bad health habits!!- Amen.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

sometimes


sometimes i wish i was involved in a freak accident,

and i survive it,

but stay in bed for atleast a month,

so i could get some peace,

and some time,




for myself