I stood casually facing the sun, the light soothing my eyes and dancing off the waves below. The wind blew in my direction. Pleasantly cold, enveloping my body. Everything feels nice.

The clouds scurry to cover the suns torturous sides, while the wind blows stronger. I hear the birds struggling against the breeze, facing the air like me. And from between the track breaks on my mp3 player I hear the boat gently splash water against the bank. The evening dawns modestly on the creek of Dubai.

A ferry honks to the seagulls above me, but the gentle creatures have found love with a couple sitting on the bench. They chew on their shawaramahs while throwing bits of grilled chicken up in the air for the quick ones to catch. Shawarmah? you say, not your typical romantic meal, but when in love, they could'nt be bothered.

Another couple stands beside me, leaning on the railings, taking in the calm and sounds of a cool evening.

The shawarmah couple leave the bench taking the white ones along with them. My playlist's done and I needed to rewind the to the music. I take their place while the other couple passes me by. I pull out my psp and struggle to get Daft Punk back on, squinting through the hair blocking my eyes.

A lonesome elderly boat captain carries his own struggle, requesting passerbys to take a trip round the creek. Never a more perfect moment, but it seemed his could be customers were at peace where they were.

White tourist folks arrive upon another quite ferry trip. Snapping pictures with a fat lensed camera. Their silk blonde hair uncontrollable in the air, and faces visual of natural pleasure.

Heh, the boatman's got a catch. 2 couples, one young and the other seems like their parents they dont want to miss the opportunity.

And the seagulls are back again, fluttering even stronger. Its 4'o clock now, Wahaj should be out of his misery any time now. Its time to leave.

I get up and walk ahead. All music just stops...

the natural sounds come rushing in place of trance.

and a split second later, there's a loud 'PHATAACK!'

_____________________________________

As the wind blows harder and the bobbing boat creates a a louder splash; my eyes move below to where the unnatural sound had eminated from.

Against the bi-colored brick floor lay my PSP in 2 pieces.

_____________________________________

And I was like WHAT THE, ZOOO EMMMM EFFF JEEEEE!!!

OMG OMG OMG OH MY GAWD,

NAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuu!

_____________________________________

Thank GOD my PSP was allright. The 2 pieces were the battery and the main console!. Alhumdulillah I am so blessed. My trip to the wildlife ends NOW NOW NOW! and so does my romantic touch with nature!!

I love my die cast glossy plastic, blunt copper wires and liquid crystal display!

_____________________________________

The Post (Part 2&3)

The Post (Part 2)

Yesterday was the first day at work and ZOOOMEFFFG it was hella hard to get by the day. The nausea that had been created by the nostalgic feeling of being at that same old client the same way i switched life to KPMG almost 6 months ago. My vomits were within my stomach.

Ugh.. it forced me to visualise life 5 yrs down the lane and I could not bring myself to the realisation that I could actually follow up numbers in the way my seniors do. Uff the jargon, the ultimate mess of everything thats accounted for. I am so not doing 9-5 all of my life. I need to entreprenaur into something and be my own, where I dont need to worry about what to account for except the profits that I make. Where I wont need to wake up early in the morning and report at 8:30 sharp. Where I would sit late only because I am having fun at my own work, for my own sake. Self employment is the way to go. and inshALLAH I will too!

Sometimes I look at my dad, or others in my family and I just wonder. HOW, HOW HOW? could they have stayed in the same office with the same people for a life their children havent out grown. I get sick working at the same client for 2 months. And I shit you not, I have become a resident auditor for the shitiest client for almost 4 months. OH GAWD! May Allah Help. !

______________________________________

The Post (Part 3)

3rd day at the office, that I did not go to.

Yes I bunked it today. I called in sick. I was actually but I knew I could get better.

Last night I had an excellent meeting with a group of game enthusiasts. Really got me pumping as much as the blood that rushes in the marines of Gears of War. I just needed an unorthodox break. Something out of the ordinary. So as much as work scared me, I know I can go back tomorrow with a grin and get ready to kick so client butt.

Seriously, things are so painfully soring. I mean there's been so many times that I think WTF maan I dont do this anymore, only because I dont have the time. Like just right now I am chatting with a friend of mine and we used to spend all nights just talking talking talking, but now it's like I feel I'm staying away. Its not on purpose, but it just doesnt fit the plan.

Plan, can go suck it self.

Although, this evening I realised; I should bloody put in my 100 into work. I aint doing anything else. Then again, I could've. Oh the dilemma.

I know for a fact though. InshALLAH tomorrow, I am gonna WORK. My quality which has come considerably down since the past 2 days, is gonna up itself. Lets be sincere for a while.

AMEN to all of that!

Quote of the day: No 2 routes lead to the same destination.

The Post (Part 1)

So, I am free today. Problem?

Well yeah so I usually aint, but this is my day off. I have been sleeping and jumping around for the past 2 days after my exams; which by the way are nothing worth talking about except ofcourse TAX was the worst paper I have ever done in my life; yes thank you.

Tomorrow I say tata! to life and back to KPMG. Seriously, its that bad. Nonetheless, I hope it stays calm for another 3 months atleast. Even my classes wont be on so there is no escape when they want to make you sit late.

Its winter here again, or well, spring as the 'gora people' would know it. Coz it really isnt as cold, but its cold for desert standards, so its winter and u can shut your stupid trap. It's raining right now, but I know it'll stop when i stop. It always does. Even then though, the sun's got alot of time out now days. SubhanALLAH its awesome weather nonetheless.

I havent done the 'walk-along-the-corniche-alone/with friends-listening-to-favourite-tracks/trance-or-talking'. But very soon, before the coolness dries off this small city. InshALLAH.

Oh in even cooler news, my ultimate buddy's been bit with the blogspace keera. Wahaj's here and he's at www.merehalaat.blogspot.com. *tch I would need to change my links again - more work - hmm yaare yare*

And why do you think there are PART's to this post. Coz well I shall take ANIME BREAKS and CLEAN BREAKS before i post the other parts, so yeah there will be parts.

Quote of the day:- Welcome back Subhana, thankyou for using the internet :)!

PS: Gah, the sun's on duty again! grrrr... !

the horribly timed post

So I thought, just before Google traces back on the byte hogging in active webspaces its bought from Blogspot.com and clicks them into oblivion; I'll write a post. Like all other. Not like no other. SONY

ha ah :P

*lame machine revs with excitement*

Anyhu, dont confuse this post with a regular LUDA Fixation. I am just wasting time in the morning so that everyone can go out of the house and I can finally get back to study. Yes, BACK to study.

Coz unlike normal human beings; which I was trying to be for over 2 weeks of my study leave; I dont follow the same mental nutritional pattern. I sleep late into the mornings often closer to the afternoon even if I had gone to bed at 11 in the night. And the rest of the time in the evening I was having fun exchanging my revision classes for Casino Royale, or just watching TV. FOR GODS FREAKIN SAKE, I was watching TV. I have watched more movies on the cable in these 2 weeks than what i normally watch in 2 months.

So well, i went back to think about last semester and developed a striking fact!

I STUDY AT NIGHTS!

So well yeah thats what I have been upto studying at nights taking ANIME breaks or something like that and eating alot. :P. My games have taken a step back primarily because I need to enjoy them and not rush them like they were job. Even though they are but whatever :P.

So well. chow chow. Dont ask for more, I'll just give you some.

Quote of the Day:- I dont even know why I used the word time in my post. In my case, I am miles away from that word.

PS The above post was dedicated to Subhana. May you stay cool and may your grand dad get better, Amen! And please stop working at the bottling factory!! :P

for the kill

Everytime I have been washrooming, for the past few days, in my home, I've come face to face with quite a few moth-cum-fly-cum-very tiny creatures buzzing around, without a sound under the bright, half covered tubelight. The tubelight is placed right above the large mirror, where I usually see them sitting on the reflection of my face; motionless; still; waiting? I dont know.

I have tried to smoke* them, it usually kills them in sometime. Thats what I had heard but it didnt work. Neither did synthetic chemical mixtures which can choke a human if used extensively. PIFF PAFF or Baygon is what they are marketted as. But the relentless species, they'd just spread out and come back. Infact, they are so miniature, they probably get lost without the light; atleast to us.

This morning at 3 am, I took it to myself to do the cleaning. A good number appeared near the light where it always does. Usual, it may seem. I washed my hands, before I did my deed. And with water still meandering down the skin canals on my hand, I positioned my reflection in line with where one of them sat.

SLAP! an instant later I had blood and body on my right to the middle finger. My wet hand making an imprint on the mirror. And then I got another one. And one more, similar fashion.

Based on my assumption I believe, they had come to realise something was not right. The sitting ladies, flew up now taking it to open space. But I was already on a roll, and now it was a Clap! Atleast 4 more, until there was just one remaining.

I was ready for some competition. The key is to keep an eye on it and follow it to whatever extent it takes, just follow it. And when you get the gut feeling, its in your yard. BAM! it for tresspassing. Matter of fact, they had been in my yard all the time now, I'd just been too ignorant clap my hands.

So the last one made me wait, it appeared disappeard appeared and disappeared again. I could only make it out when it was closer to light, but as soon as I'd see it, I'd lose it. Until one fine head move and I see it sitting on the glass, fidgeting. Ballooned by my self confidence, I used just a finger. TAK!

It was hit but not fallen, and it rose again to soar. I got it one more time with my inflated balloon, and it still didnt make any difference. Then I just slapped it hard; with a curse caught between my throat and tongue.

And then there were more, I hadnt realised before. 3 more, or atleast they were all I had to kill next. Everytime I'd hunt one down, I'd wash my hands clean and let the body lie on the walls of the sink. What was even more peculiar was that in the silence of a Clap, I'd see threads floating in the air. Small, real small. Pieces of threads falling from the top at a speed of almost nothing. Very slow, very small.

Then when I was finally done, I washed my hands one last time with soap. Then I took in the freshness of my hands and walked out.

We are all God's creatures and we all need to survive. And to survive we may sometimes need to kill. Not that those moths would have hindered my survival, but sometimes we kill for things as trivial as 'my space' and 'my air'.

*do the ARABIC AOUDH Techniques.

drugged

I walk

To become

What I admired

The man

I desired

The ugly

That inspired

My solace

Is me

Disconnected

But not free

Don’t touch me

Out of this

I love the drug

Sedate my soul

So I drift

By my own

In my own

I live

displaced

Recently, whenever I think of writing something, its either too late, or I have something pending to write about\on so I end up clicking on the cross button at the 'new post screen'.

Today I am just too tired and even though i have pending things on the line, they can wait a little longer. This time, I think I need to take a break.

KPMG's begining to take its toll on me. I am doing late sittings and sometimes even morning walk outs. But thats cool, coz its in Emirates towers ;). I see this to be more of toughening experience than a learning one. Like what my senior said, "spend an year here, and you'll be 21."

I would not mention anything more, even though I am not on any contract or liability with the company; its just for the safer side.

Apart from that, today, I experienced the most embarrasing moment of my life - as of yet. I am not going to go on and blabber it out, but to me, the only thing worse could be running around naked in Global Village on a Thursday evening!

____

There's a glitch in my plan. Something I hardly have any control over. Its got me a little disturbed, but inshALLAH with a lil thinking and a nudge from God, it should be allright. Amen! But its disturbing nonetheless. Pray please.
_____

Congratulations to Subhaana baajee for such a wonderful achievement. May Allah bless her with many more. TO know more, go to *SUBHAANA'S* link on the right; for words fail me.
____

I got my exams in the next month and I dont know JACK. InshALLAH i should be able to get a leave, but there are many odds to jump over.
____

The late sittings, and too much 'extracurricular' work is making me weary. I have come to realise, that I take up too many voluntary things; and worst of all, most of them are unfinished. Even though I feel like I want to do everything, learn everthing, master everything; its not working. Time is less. I am few.
_____

Quote of the day :- This place has changed

Thursday 3:00 am
21st of April 2005

I thought that I had the time to post today. Now I believe I was wrong.

For The Love Of G-A-M-E

an interesting read ...
Source: Shoutwire!

In 1961 the minds at MIT unvieled a groundbreaking diagnostic program for the PDP-1 mainframe.Instead of churinging out mathmatical soloutions as evidence of a properly functioning processer, the program allowed the user to verify functionality by dogfighting an opponent in space. It was SpaceWar, and it was the first video game ever created.

A full fourty five years later, video gaming has grown into a ten billion dollar a year industry. The technology has grown exponentially, we’re in the fifith generation of consoles, and usage is prevalent among the general population. So why, after all of these years, am I still hesitant to admit in mixed company that I’m a gamer?

Fifteen years ago such an admission would be unthinkable. Videogames were the exclusive domain of adolescent males and social degenerates. To admit as an adult that you were spent eight hours on Saturday night making your final run at Hilter (Die, Allied Schweinhund!) in Wolfenstein 3D would have been a social debacle. Images would flow through the mind of your confidant. Images of you sitting in your mothers basement with your only company being the pale glow emmited by 16 frames per second of VGA graphics, images of your inevitable fate of being a 30 year old virgin, images of a person unclean. You, sir, would be a nerd.

Today, even though an estimated 43% of gamers are adults, this stigma still lives on. To admit that you’re a gamer, to some, is to admit that you waste valuable time on an unproductive, childish hobby. Yet, for some unexplainable reason, not an eye is batted if you spend your evening in front of the television in the throes of prime time ecstasy. It is more chic to passively wonder who America’s next Idol will be than to involve yourself in a stimulating, interactive, and – more often than not – cognitive video game experience.

In an age where videogames have overshadowed the film and television industry as entertainment king, we gamers are still, for the most part, a sadly persecuted lot. We contend with the eye rolling of mothers, the sighs of girlfriends, and the disparaging comments from elders. We have been mocked and ridiculed and deprived of our rightful place in the genetic pool for far too long.

We game because we love it, and we almost represent the majority.

I think it’s high time we come out of the basement.

Non

Hear,

indistinct resonance

Echo

distress signal

Voice

me.

Weapon

Is a horse shoe,

Shield

Is teeth

Sheath

me.

Adamant

all beliefs

Weak

is the heart

Constricted

approach

Caught

me.

Eldritch

Is the stance

to

Dig deep

-er

Swimming

To Sink

me.

Happen

its been a while will be an understatement.

I havent been doing what i usually do. At least not for sometime now. All for the good though. Infact for the VERY GOOD (Alhumdulillah). Lately so many things have happened that, according to a friend, I always have a sentence with GUESS WHAT when we chat. MashALLAH. Allah's blessed me with things I havent even imagined. And it scares me. May be I am getting all this in compensation of what I am going to loose in the Hereafter. May Allah forbid. and May Allah Bless.

SO the no.1 most important thing that happened lately, was the Award. Award for scoring the highest In my Design and Tech Alevels Exams all over the WORLD!! ..

Unbelievable I know. Unexpected, very much! I couldnt digest the news until I had it in my hands at the prize distribution ceremony. I am pretty much still in the state of awe and there isnt any limit to thank ALLAH for such an accredation.

This really made me question my decision for changing lines. It was like a cold nudge which had a loving warmth in the heart of it, making me know how good I can be (alhumdulillah). Nonetheless I have moved on and I would like to think God has made me create a benchmark and change sides.

Speaking of moving on, which I have surely gone deep into and continuously sinking; I have joined KPMG as an intern. KPMG is the no.1 auditing firm (client wise) in UAE and the 4th largest in the world; thereby forming part of the BIG 4 of the world. The offices are in Emirates Towers ;) .. but thats just the perk which does not over shadow the 12am-4am sessions of the Audit Assistants and Seniors in those offices. Its one hell of a tiring schedule the people have got and each one's competing to be the best in the better. A golden under-rule in the firm states 'Join KPMG = Forget Life'. And it's pretty obvious, coz nothing starts at 3 in the morning.

Nevertheless, the badge that KPMG brings and the honor of being an auditor who can just clean sweep a company's ass is SWEETAH! I know if I am ever to join as an employee I'd be fried to the point that I'll have to let go of the gaming passion. But like they say 'Kuch paanay kay liye Kuch khona parta hai' = 'To gain something you gotta lose something'.

Likewise though there hasnt been any art flowing from anywhere of myself. I havent drawn in months and poetry's become a different language. Seems like the 'switch' has taken a toll on me. At the moment its just, Me KPMG Classes and Game Review. Internet has become a gettaway but it doesnt last long.

And oh yeah, I got my license! :D and so much awesome to drive my mom's accord :D! MUAHAHA! Its been less than a month, and I am already flashed! I got a speeding ticket last night 1:45 in the morning, Sheikh Zayed Road. It was a 100kmph road, and I was at 140kmph. I have no idea how much will it be, anyone got any idea? And even though it was more of shock struck situation when the camera sparked a white tube on my windscreen, it was kinda nice to see how it flashes ;) .. :P But I wouldnt want to be ticketed again thats for sure. Although I think i will ask them to gimme the picture (dxb police dept) and will put it in my cupboard as the very first CAUGHT ON CAMERA ;) :o

Till whenever I am free again. Ma3salaam and tc

Quote of the day:- Coat for the day

:P

The Return

THE PROPHET MOHAMMAD'S (PBUH) LAST SERMON

This Sermon was delivered on the Ninth Day of Dhul Hijjah 10 A.H in the Uranah Valley of mount Arafat )


"O People lend me an attentive ear, for I know not whether after this year I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore listen to what I am saying very carefully and TAKE THESE WORDS TO THOSE WHO COULD NOT BE PRESENT HERE TODAY.

O People just as you regard this month, this day, this city as Sacred, so regard the life and property of every Muslim as a sacred trust. Return the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners. Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you. Remember that you will indeed meet your LORD, and that he will indeed reckon your deeds. ALLAH has forbidden you to take usuary (interest), therefore all interest obligations shall henceforth be waived. Your capital is yours to keep. You will neither inflict nor suffer any inequity. Allah has Judged that there shall be no interest and that all the interest due to Abbas ibn 'Abd'al Muttalib (Prophet's uncle) be waived.

Every right arising out of homicide in pre-Islamic days is henceforth waived and the first such right that I waive is that arising from the murder of Rabiah ibn al Harithibn.

O'Men, the Unbelievers indulge in tampering with the calender in order to make permissible that which Allah forbade, and to forbid which Allah has made permissible. With Allah the months are twelve in number. Four of them are holy three of these are successive and one occurs singly between the months of Jumada and Shaban.

Beware of Satan, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope of that he will be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things.

O People it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women but they also have right over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with his permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste.

O People, listen to me in ernest, worship ALLAH, say your five daily prayers fast during month of Ramadan, and give your wealth in Zakat. Perform Hajj if you can afford to.

All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute o ne brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belogs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not therefore do injustice to yourselves. Remember one day you will meet Allah and answer your deeds. So beware do not astray from the path of righteousness after I am gone.

O People, NO PROPHET OR APOSTLE WILL COME AFTER ME AND NO NEW FAITH WILL BE BORN. Reason well, therefore, O People, and understand words which I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the QURAN and my SUNNAH and if you follow these you will never go astray.

All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listen to me directly. Be my witness O ALLAH, that I have conveyed your message to your people."

PS: WOAH its been over a month now. I never realised, or well I did but never bothered. This can wait, I always thought when I had a feeling to write something; coz I was due 6 essays (350 words each) for a friend and felt guilty utilising my time on the blog. Anyhow, now that you know the particular reason, the part reason is my laziness:D Thank you. There is alot to talk about but since I got this in a mail (by comicsans19) I thought it would be a wonderful thing to share, special thanks to the last line. Also let this be the kick start to the one month vacation this place has been having from my rants. AND ALSO, let me gather back all I wanted to say for such a long time, my views, my thoughts, my achievments, my life, my everything :P

Ma3salaam and good bye for now.

some random tests

Thanks to Reza, i stumbled over a few TESTS sites. Here's what THEY SAY, about ME.

What Classic Movie Am I ?

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What Famous Leader Am I ?

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

And I also took a few BLEACH personality tests. (Bleach is an anime btw).

This is what I get after a long que of questions .. :@:Po.O?

What Vice Captain am I ?

Which Bleach Vice-Captain are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

What Bleach Personality am I ?

Conclusion = These computer generated tests are big chunks of shitwads. (except the nerd one ofcourse ;) ). Bloody they changed my gender! Fake Fake Fake Fake ..

EiD

EiD was good. OK. But most of it was boring. Mostly coz we didnt go anywhere.

Did the sacrifice thingie. Did almost all of the preps and after things except namely for the sacrifice itself. Kinda n00bed out. I think.

2nd day was pretty good, nice fun at Pervaiz Bhaee's and Sarwat Aunty's.

Today just came back from the Jabal-e-Hafeez and Green Mubazzar Trip. What was MAJORLY different was that we were in a Hyundai Van. No.2 - No parents .. :D. As in .. NOT AT ALL .. :D ;)

So by 12 30 we were off, carrying bits and pieces of friendship badge holders in the van. Many of the bigger badger holders, couldnt actually make it - their loss. A 2 hr long drive passed in switching Mp3 Players and DiscMen from the cassette converter's /adapter's jack. An hour later, the cassette converter had lost the battle. Omar was held responsible; his seriously sick mixes of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, had spoiled the adapter bad.

Then, it was just talking and blabbering about random shit, about current affairs which are actually 'cool' and 'hip'. Muddu (our driver and arrangement manager) made sure he wasnt disturbed at all. His concentration was focused on the wheel and the meter and the lenses.

All my conversion and ripping of audio files and Russell peters went down the gutter. But I wasnt majorly disappointed about it, there was just too much to talk about. Then we were taking photographs, positioning, posing. It was like we had borrowed traits from the other gender or Ameen (;)) for that matter, for a certain time. :P

Then we paused half way up for some lunch break, prayer break, football break, and the most interesting of all - NO OFFENSE break.

No Offense was actually, Maaz's idea. A hand puppet in Muddu's van of a bunny, made way for a TRIUMPH like show, where Maaz would ask us questions and make it snappy and funny and well, insult us. A mere, 1-2 minutes shows were conducted with everyone, recorded on Talha's mobile. Some were funny, some extremely pitifully lame. But fun, whatever.

Up on the highest cliff of the UAE, things started to get chilly. Nonetheless it just added to the ambience of sheesha and sunset. Absolutely wonderfull to see the sun sink into the mist. My meager digital camera couldnt recapture the beauty, but it tried its best to catch a glimpse.



So after that we spiralled downwards to our previous spot, for prayers and some ice cream and peeing. And then we spiralled down once more to what was our last stop. The Green Mubazzar.

Have had wonderful times here, memories and fun. This time round though, the Municipality had planted its minions on the small climb-able hills. Did'nt let us climb from the front or the back. Kept screaming about a 600Dhs Fine. Miserly as we are, or better put, Careful and wise as we are, dropped the plan and played some football.

My rusted feet and hands motioned with pretty good reflexes. We won 7-3 of what was a very enjoyable match. We kept changing positions, nevertheless, it didnt spoil any of the fun. Had left over biryaanee after that and then off back to dubai.

Way back was still uber fun. Truth and dare. LMAO, it was as if the ladies mode was switched on again. We were playing a game what I have always seen women play. And because we were storming at 140kmph in a car and noone wanted to see anyone naked, noone was allowed to choose Dare. Thus, it was a TRUTH AND TRUTH game we played. What we did find out, is not here to discuss about.

Now I am back home.
A few pictures from the trip ...

View from the top

Lighted Green Mubazzar.

Ipod and Love =/

Quote of the day :- "His unfailing ability of destroying the things he loves - King Kong."

by gone

This happened some time back ..

I dont remember the date, but it was the first night it rained in Pakistan. It poured to the extent that my cousin got scared, but they had fun. Accross the city some one else was experiencing everything contrary.
A grand-father in relation was being rushed from hospital to hospital, in search of space and facility to operate. 12:30 PST, they found one that had both, and the operation began.
He came safe out of that, but his condition was still hanging on threads.
My parents got their tickets, were ready to leave the next night. Next morning though, he was reported dead.

Wierd, it was. I was already very weary of his survival when I heard they are searching for a hospital in the middle of the night. I knew it was serious then. But somehow I'd assumed he's gonna stay up till mom and dad got there. Theyd see him and probably then he'd die. How naive of me. For sometime there, I'd totally forgotten it was God's game, and his call too.

I never loved him. It was merely a respect relationship from my side. Until this time when i wen to my country, though. It also had fun involved. We used to play Ludo against each other. Cheat, when he didnt look. It was fun this time.

Then again its an absurd thought that I get all the time when I think about him. Its like he's still going to be there. He's still going to be sitting there watching T.V. all day long, and in my heart, i'd be feeling why doesnt he move away somewhere else. Why doesnt he go talk or sleep, I want the lounge to my self for sometime. Yeah I used to think about him like that. Now, I cant think. There is no him anymore. I dont miss him, but I am sad. How abrupt the end was.

A full stop, in the wrong place (for our thinking), in the right place for the believers.

May he be granted the gardens of Jannah - Amen.