LOVE.ANON.

I think I am falling ..

in love with you,

Not the physical kind,

But in love with your mind.

With your ideas and thoughts,

and the intangible nature

of your perspectives

of life and faith

of nature and culture

of dreams and the matrix

And every time you speak,

I hear!

And every time you act,

I cheer!

And all your words,

I hold dear!

________________________________________

We’ve never met.

Neither do I long to.

For human is a master,

of destroying all

that is natural.

And I fear that,

my love for you,

is precariously held,

by the curated settings,

of your privacy filter.

How many do you have?

There are secrets which stay,
Between two hearts;
And those that lie,
Within the folds of one.

The latter is the truth.
The former, a moderation,
Of what's expected,
And acceptable.

And if I were to act on one,
Which one would it be?
For the former, would save me;
But the latter, would set me free.

LuDa

Kahoun dost say .. dost ki baat
kya kya ?

Every weekend ...

... I feel creative.
Every weekday
I regret not having done it.

I'm becoming a much larger consumer than a creator. I must keep the creativity alive. I must blog, paint, sketch and train.

I must.

must!

Moons ago ...

.. I used to frequent this place. Today I just happened to be by. And I'm glad I did.

Just reading this blog backwards, surprises me about things that have happened in my life and how I have narrated about my thoughts, sometimes skillfully, other times just because.

For the past few years, my only writing has been status updates on facebook and really heavy shit for office - the formal report writing and emails..... HOLY SHIT EMAILS! There are days when I'm writing over 100 / day. Even for things like - Okay! Many thanks! Noted! and all that one word messages. But its the status quo, the decorum, the way human decency works.

Anyhu, I see that my most recent post before this is from my extremely anxious time, right before I was getting married.

Guess what?!! Now I'm a father!!!

Indeed I'm getting older, but more in experience than in age I feel.

Nevertheless, this is one of the most amazing experiences in life, ever! All before this, your life, your likes, dislikes, love and what not, are mostly based on past experiences, logic and some hormonal disbalance (in your brain or heart). I'd like to target lover here in particular. I feel like you can claim to and indeed love your parents, your friends, your one and only as much as all the mountains in the world, but as soon as you have that kid; whenhe/she opens their eyes to guesstimate your silhouette, blinks, cries, responds to external stimuli, in your hands, in your boat shaped embrace; there's this automatic spark, which lights up the strangest hormonal imbalance that I've ever experienced. So rich, so world changing, so affirmative.

In short, you haven't loved, until you've had a child. Then and only then, do you realize the power of love. I used to think, what is all this hoo haa about, 'OMG my child, My son! My Daughter! is in pain, is hurt, is dead etc'; but I can clearly see it now, I may probably become an over protective dad.

Khair, I guess this is it for now. I will update more about my realisations of being a father.

Btw, my wife's doing fine, and an incredible job with the kid. She's a genius, mashALLAH!

Quote of the day: You know whats the irony about people who hate children? Their opinions are going to die with them!!

star

Mumma,

Your star is going to burst into flame
without a shine
and fizzle into a sprite
without heat

And all that would be left
is an ugly spec of ash
that is as insignificant as the wind that carries it way

Big Fat Fucking Failure

sometimes i wish, i go to sleep and never wake up.

whats happening to me?

In the corner, lies a foreigner

You see that corner, there

right there ....

you dont? well thats great.

coz thats where I want to go,

hide from this world.

but I'm so fat, you see
they'll always find me.

it seems

When someone goes on life support its only a matter of time. Or a matter of prayers. whichever finishes first.

"He didnt make it,
He left me alone,
He's gone."

as I read the last line, my heart sank into my stomach. My best friend lost his father and left me a message to wonder how he would have felt.

But I couldnt, no body can.

No body can but him.

"May Allah grant your father the place in heaven he deserves and may we all take heed from the wonderful lessons of life."